Mini Rant

Mini rant

Ok so my job is fairly simple. Here's a person, find out how to find them. My beef isn't with my job (this time). Instead it is with the male dominated corporate world. Now I know you're all saying "but we have equal opportunity in business now.". Well you would be very wrong.

I work finding information about the big guys in business (and yes 'guys' was purposely used). I find the C.E.O.'s, the C.F.O.'s, members of the board, among other high level positions. What I'm not finding is many X.X. (as in chromosome). It's a little discouraging when I think about it. It also pisses me off a little. Ok a lot. Almost always, I only see a woman as "Executive Assistant to Mr. whoever" (and that's just a fancy term for "Secretary who would get a promotion if she slept with the right people).

Now I know there are many women in positions of power all across the corporate world. I know this, but I don't see the evidence. Sure every so often I see a women as a C.F.O. or Director of something or other, but there is not enough evidence to support the claim.
//mini rant
Dawnie

**by the way, the details on the dog are now known: it is a female and her name is Sabrina. She does belong to David (head of accounting) and she is still running around the office.

Monday

In my efforts to stay awake:

I have
a) checked every email address I have
b) chatted with my coworkers
c) walked around the office
d) pretended to check my voicemail messages
e) drank a bottle of fruit punch

But none of these things works as well as blogging.

So it's a new week and I'm blogging way earlier than I usually do on Monday*. I'm falling asleep way earlier than usual. In fact I'm not sure if I'm actually awake or if I have just devised a way of sleep-working.

The weekend was pretty relaxed. Went shopping and got new metal on Friday (orbital now complete, bottom navel now annoying me with its sometimes hurts, sometimes not attitude**), Dad's birthday on Saturday (which was more like clean all day), and then off to Dan's Sunday (which really just consisted of laying in bed all day). All in all, not a bad weekend. Aside from the fact that I did NO school work at all. Seriously, I gotta get shit done. I really hate being stressed out about getting essays done. I'm never as articulate when I'm stressed about my assignments.

Now I know you're all yelling "stop procrastinating and you won't have to worry about them the week they are due!" (all but the Jenn, who understands). No see, for all of those who thought that: yes you are very right. I will stop procrastinating tomorrow.

And for those of you who got that last comment: well done.

Moving on.

In other news today, there is a random dog running around the office. I believe it belongs to the head of accounting (the guy who cuts my cheque. I love him every other Friday). It's a friendly dog and licked my hand this morning, however it is kind of weird having a dog run around. Chocolate lab is my guess but that detail is still unconfirmed. Also unconfirmed is the sex of the dog, however the purple scarf and the frequent "what a good girl" I hear around the office allows me to infer said animal is female. More details to follow.

Number of times I have crashed the database program thus far: 3***

I fear this post is too long and everyone has stopped reading by now. Because of this fear I shall end this post now, 3 hours after it was started. If I get bored later (I forgot my cell at home, no work texting), I might enter more.

Until then,
Bored at work,
Dawnie

*This post was started at 11.00
**Pictures of all the piercings coming soon
***1:30

It Was All In My Head

It was all in my head. I made it out to be so horrible in my mind and it wasn't that bad at all. Fuck you imagination. Although in my defense, it was much worse last time I went to the doctor. Stupid Humber.

Now if I could imagine science class being worse and it was actually better than I thought, that would be awesome. Ugh too bad.

forever hating science and medicine,
Dawnie

Blogging in the Morning

Can I call in sick to the doctor's? Please?

Packed day today. Full of school and friends and dreaded dr. appointments. I assume I will have some kind of amusing story to tell after today is over, although how appropriate it is for blogger remains to be known. I'll use discretion when posting.

The mornings in this house are more like epic battles for control of bathroom ground. I had a stronghold and later lost it to Brother's counter-attack. I do believe in a couple of minutes I will stage another attack and I'm quite sure I will hold that all-too-important hill for a few minutes at least (I need to get out more lmao)

But srsly the struggle for the bathroom in this house is one that is worthy of "epic". How fast you are and when you get up in the morning dictates whether or not you leave the house with your teeth brushed. I've learned to keep my toothbrush at least in my room; kitchen sink works just as well. lol

Anyways this was just a little post so I could kill some time before the counter-attack and to keep me busy, as I am rather hating the fact that I get to miss part of science today, but it's so I can go to the clinic. That just pisses me off. lol

Have a good day fellow bloggers
Cheers
Dawnie

Subway

Full moon on the bus tonight. I went an extra stop just to watch it from the window. Transfixed by the glow of something so far. That scene happened before. Going over the kipling bridge, staring at a full moon just starting to rise. Coming home before I started taking the queen car. The car was better; more character and safer than the kipling bus. But the moon was full that night and I loved it. I don't love it tonight.
The subway doesn't show its moon. Instead it shows its ghosts. All the stations hold ghosts of scenes that exist now only in my own mind. Conversations, meetings, departs, fights, all have their place in stations across the line. I wish those ghosts were quiet tonight. Not tonight. Tonight they are yelling at me from the grave, telling me to remember those events that shape a year. Went to work still asleep at Glencairn, went to Eg to spend hours cooped up in a shitty bachelor apartment, practically lived at Kip, was a fool at Wilson. Quiet ghosts, go back to your electric recesses tonight please. Why won't you leave me alone tonight.
Those events shaped a year. Maybe shaped an entire lifetime. How much they really effected anyone who was involved. Sometimes I think most of them were more important to me than to the other people. How much each of those stations changed who I am I will never fully know. Would I be here typing if I wasn't a fool at Wilson? Probably. Would I be here typing if I didn't live at Kip? Probably not. Tonight wouldn't be the same at all.
Every ghost in every station tells me something tonight. They all come out and make me remember the smallest interactions. Thoughts and memories past. Inconsequential to anyone other than me. Am I a completely different person? Am I the same girl? I don't even know. I dwell on the amount of change that has happened in the past year and a half. Am I right to want to relieve those days? Am I right to think back on how I got here? I don't know. I'm full of doubt and uncertainty. Maybe my independent time is over. Maybe its coming back now. I like to think it is.
Go back and erase a year. Exorcise all the ghosts that lurk in the electric depths of the stations. Return to the way it was before. Return to life, escape from dream. View what is real again. Abolish the folly. I don't want to tonight. I never want to.


So is written on the subway between York and my station (Keele). It's been a wild night bloggers, wild indeed. I don't know where that came from, but tonight I'm more nostalgic that usual. Tonight I wonder all these things and more. I wonder about who I really am and if I've finally found out who Dawnie is. I change with my nicknames. A new one has emerged. Perhaps this means I'm becoming a different girl again. All this reforming and reshaping is getting tiresome but I find myself unable to stop it. Hopefully I keep elements of the Humber Dawn. I really liked her sometimes.

It's hard to say who anyone is really. It's all perception and expression that makes us who we are. We are who we perceive people think we are. It is a crazy backwards way of thinking but very true. I am who I think you think I am. That is how we are able to take on traits of our friends so easily. That is how we can see someone on a subway and make a decision on who they are. It's all fabricated. It's all a sham. Eat that Dr. Phil.

//rant
//philosophical sociology
//this post
I'm home for the night

Monday

Is it possible for you to still function when your brain is officially asleep? The resounding "YES!" is the answer to that question. I do believe I am officially asleep at work today. Not only am I completely disinterested in this project, but I am also tired and burnt out. I'm always tired and burnt out but who's really keeping track right?

Today (Jan. 21 in case you're blind or can't read well) is supposedly the most depressing day of the year. They say a combination of broken New Year's resolutions, Christmas bills, shitty weather, and the realization that we are all back to work and school and the holidays are over attribute to this. Personally, this day has been the suck so I am inclined to agree with whoever 'they' are. But then again, every Monday seems to be the suck for me. Or every day. But really, again, who's keeping track of this stuff.

~Dawnie wants to hurt whoever designed this database system. Limited search options, CAPS only entry, crashing when a foreign character is entered, not allowing deletes, not allowing entries. Database program: go blow~
//rant

Moving on.

Blogging mid-day seems to be the most effective method for staying awake during boring projects. Not only do my fingers get to do actual typing, but I get to bitch about how bad work is, at work. Win-Win really. It also gives me a little break from the endless wild goose chase that is database updating. Seriously, this job description was kind of misleading. I wasn't told it was going to be hellish at times. Liars.

I don't think I have anything humourous or cynical to report. I got a MacBook and I am in love with her. We named her Mackie and she's awesome. My black desktop gets hardly any love and even when it does, it still has to share that attention with Mackie. She's my favourite child; there is nothing I can do about it. They both have good and bad sides but having the mac for school is proving to be a wise investment. She weights only 5 pounds and is 13 inches. I never want to take another note by hand again

Time goes slowly here. Which somehow leads me back to this morning...
I found my mittens! yay! They were in the garage on top of my bicycle seat.

Pati Someone must have borrowed them to get logs from the pile and then not returned them. My hands have been freezing for 2 weeks because Pati someone can't return stuff that she they borrow(s) (without asking).

This morning I also forgot my ipod, coffee, lip balm, planner, and any form of reading material at home. To accompany this, the backing of my cellphone came off last night when I dropped it down the basement stairs it fell. I still have not found it as it most likely fell into the dark cold depths of the space under the stairs (Dad keeps saying he will finish the back of the stairs...). Due to this procrastination, I must investigate the area and hope the spiders don't stage a coo. Ugh.

I do believe this post is nearly finished. I have wasted enough time at work and must move on to removing fax numbers. If you think this sounds as boring as finding the C.F.C.'s to major companies, you would be quite right. Fax removal needs skittles and lots of them. I bribe myself. How sad is that?

Dawnie

*I was just looking in my wallet change compartment (see skittles note above) and found a little piece of paper with a name and number on it. A guy I used to work with at the call centre. I wonder where he is now and I feel bad for never calling him. It wasn't that I wasn't into him, I just didn't ever know what to say. Sigh.

//that be all

Because they've blocked Facebook...

I will write a blog entry at work.

As I said, they have blocked my favourite addiction from me at work. I'm not sure why or how, but one cannot access Facebook from any of the computers in the office. This worries and upsets me. If I'm on a computer all day, I need to be able to stay informed on my friends' lives. It's inhumane Infonex, give me back my drug!

Moving on....

Work is turning into hell with fluorescent lighting. This list is impossible and retarded. I hate it. I've been working on it for over a week. I'm tired of it. Give me something else to do please.
*dies*

So it's 3.30 (the British way cause I'm cool like that) and time for cookies and juice (cause I'm the youngest one here and why shouldn't this be like kindergarten?). I very much want to go downstairs and smoke the rest of the cigarillo in my bag. I'm trying to resist but it's making me even more pissy. Oh nicotine, why must I love you?


I only have 2 more hours left until I'm free of this place. I can't wait. Errands on the way home, packed subway to deal with, quick shower and bite to eat, then back on the subway to meet Dan after he gets off school. Reading and the like to do tonight as well, although once I'm at Dan's I doubt I will get much reading done. He's also going to scold me about my piercings. I'm not taking care of them as well as I should and he's going to know when he looks at them tonight. There are a couple downsides to dating a pro piercer....

Well I should really get back to work (and when I say "back to work", I really mean "waste more time goofing around online and texting people").

Cheers,
Dawnie