Pain

Piercing pain is one of the best kinds of pain. It hurts but it doesn't....
I got my orbital piercing yesterday after waiting for a while to get it done. It's still in stage one until it heals so it's just two rings. Hardly an orbital at all. But after it heals, oh after, it's gonna be awesomeness linked with one ring! yay! lol

Now that I'm dating Dan, everyone thinks I'm getting more piercings because I'm with him. That pisses me off. These were in the works before I even met him, let alone got with him. For the record: this orbital was planned before Dan. lol

Christmas was quiet. Didn't do a whole lot of running around. We laid around and ate and slept and visited with family. It was very productive I know. I'm going to have to catch up on some reading I should have gotten done over the break. I still have a few days before classes start so I'm not too worried.

Well blogger, I think its time to clean up these holes in my head, have a shower, and get some laundry done. Busy day. lol

I see you and you're all disheveled
Last week's nail polish clings to
Nails bitten down
Why'd you bite them like that?
Why are you so nervous?
Come here honey
Come, I'll make it all better
Your hair frizzes
Trying desperately to escape its loose braids
You care so little about that though
Everything has a mind of its own
It doesn't bother me
I don't mind
Come here honey
I'll smooth it out
Make everything better
Your skin is so soft
It hurts me to touch the
Gentle curves of your body
Beautiful and brown and
Scarred and sacred
Come here, I'll make everything fine
Clean up your nails, blood red nails,
Fix your hair
Fix your life
What's bothering you?



if you only knew how much I miss you sometimes. I wish I could tell everyone........

Crash

crash down/ fall apart/ come back/ you want it/ keep coming/ hide in the smoke/ let it fill you/ cough/ choke/ escape/

I found you again/ lost in your drug/ immobilized/ your favourite side effect/ slow down/ slower/ fall apart/ you need it/

love it/ follow/ dip in/ play around/ die every night/ you're a phoenix/ come back to me/ from the fire/

die again/ keep coming/ you need it/ you need me/ come for me/ crash down/ fall apart/ again/

always again.

Friendly Fire

Well I’ve been sitting here so long thinking what I’d say to you/ but it seems like silence is what I was after/ skies in west delay they turn from amber into gold/ it’s just the nighttime putting on the pressure/ and I sailed a beaten ship without a camera through the fog/ and held the hand of darkness in the mire/ kissed its perfect lips only pretending it was you/ I’m still wounded from your guns/ pretending they were only friendly fire/ these clothes have gone from second hand to something I can wear/ or maybe use to try to douse the blood/ and everything I thought that I could ever say to you/ got all fucked up and well just misunderstood/ and I sailed a beaten ship without a camera through the fog/ and held the hand of darkness in the mire/ kissed its perfect lips only pretending it was you/ still wounded from your guns pretending it was only friendly fire/ so I’ve been sitting here so long thinking what I’ll say to you/ but I guess it’s silence that you’re after/ the skies in west delay they turn from amber into gold/ hell that’s just the nighttime putting on the pressure/ and I sailed a beaten ship without a camera through the fog/ and held the hand of darkness in the mire/ and kissed its perfect lips only pretending it was you/ still wounded from your guns pretending it was only friendly fire/ friendly fire.

I kept hoping it was just friendly fire.
Fuck you.

And my fine is......470.60 yikes

Smoked pot -- $10
Did acid -- $5
Ever had sex at church -- $25
Woke up in the morning and did not know the person who was next to you -- $40
Had sex with someone on Facebook -- $25
Had sex for money -- $100
Ever had sex with the a Puerto Rican -- $20
Vandalized something -- $20
Had sex on your parents' bed -- $10
Beat up someone -- $20
Been jumped -- $10
Crossed dressed -- $10
Given money to stripper -- $25
Been in love with a stripper -- $20
Kissed some one who's name you didn't know -- $0.10
Hit on some one of the same sex while at work -- $15
Ever drive drunk -- $20
Ever got drunk at work, or went to work while still drunk -- $50
Used toys while having sex -- $30
Got drunk, passed and don't remember the night before -- $20
Went skinny dipping -- $5
Had sex in a pool -- $20
Kissed someone of the same sex -- $10
Had sex with someone of the same sex -- $20
Masturbated -- $10
Done oral -- $5
Got oral -- $5
Done / got oral in a car while it was moving -- $25
Stole something -- $10
Had sex with someone in jail -- $25
Made a nasty home video -- $15
Had a threesome -- $50
Had sex in the wild -- $20
Been in the same room while someone was having sex -- $25
Stole something worth over more than a hundred dollars -- $20
Had sex with someone 10 years older -- $20
Had sex with someone under 21 and you are over 27 -- $25
Been in love with two people or more at the same time -- $50
Said you love someone but didn't mean it -- $25
Went streaking -- $5
Went streaking in broad daylight -- $15
Been arrested -- $5
Spent time in jail -- $15
Peed in the pool -- $0.50
Played spin the bottle -- $5
Done something you regret -- $20
Had sex with your best friend -- $20
Had sex with someone you work with at work -- $25
Had anal sex -- $80
Lied to your mate -- $5
Lied to your mate about the sex being good -- $25

Tally it up and Re-Post it as..."My Fine Is..."

So This is Home

With the fucking TV way too loud and always on. I have expressed my hatred for TV and it's only gotten worse since I moved here. What is this strange fixation with TV? Why can it never be off? How can you watch the same episode over and over? Why do you need to be on the computer and have the TV on? Why must you subject me (in both of "my spaces" (the basement and my shared bedroom)) to the fucking idiot box? Turn the fucking thing off!

Everyone yells. I don't know why they yell (may have something to do with the higher than needed volume on the TV). I am sensitive to noise as it is, I do not respond favourably to yelling and slamming doors.

Everyone is stressed. It's hard to keep a sane and level head about you when you're trying to figure out your life and school and relationships when everyone is uptight. Learn to relax. Learn to spend time with your kids so they don't bother you for attention. Learn to turn the honoured TV and computer(s) off and just be people. Yes your paper may be due in a week, but that doesn't mean you get to ignore your kids.

Money. Stop bribing your kids to do stuff and stop charging me rent. Every time I see my 9 year old sister with yet another bag from the corner store full of a)a full sized chocolate bar; b)a large-sized chocolate milk; and c)a bag of potato chips (contents vary but you get the idea) just for her, or my 16 year old sister with a wad of cash (who wont lend me 5 bucks even when I tell her I can pay her back in a week) I get sad. Not sad cause the kids have stuff; that is perfectly fine, kids are supposed to have stuff sometimes. Sometimes. It's just handed to them while I struggle and try to work and go to school (looking for a job and obtaining on is proving harder than I thought) and worrying about where my credit card payment is going to come from. I didn't get an allowance, yet I still had weekly/ daily chores. This 9 year old kid does nothing and still gets a fiver (sometimes more if she can trick her parents into paying her more) handed to her every week (plus what she gets to 'go to the store' during the week)
Throws up.

Then I get stressed cause I'm here. I get worried and don't sleep and hide at my friend's for long periods of time. I've been known to sit in front of subway stations at 12am talking, only 'cause I don't really want to go home yet. Phrases like 'man I'm going home, but I wish I wasn't going home to where I'm going' have escaped my lips. It's really frustrating to hate where you're living but really have no other choice. And even though they are annoying most of the time, they do help me out from time to time, and I can't really complain too much about that.

I think I have whined about my oh-so-hard life enough for now. I shall return with more confusing bits of poetry written on subways, more ramblings and odd discussions, and further accounts of my boring life at another time.

ok so maybe three bowls of shisha is a bad idea on a Sunday afternoon, but dammit, it was fun at the time. So now I'm stuck with a tummyache and a sore throat and a confused head. That's right blogging world, Dawn has a confused head. Long story, don't ask. Its not that uncommon i know.

In other news, my mom was here all weekend* and I had a great time. Man oh man I miss my momsy. I guess it's cause I don't see her very often. Aww Momsy.

Ugh I'm the worst blogger ever. I so neglect this blog but I'm trying blogging word, I'm trying.

I think I shall leave my aimless ramblings for now. My life is so exciting I know.

But man that shisha was sooo worth it (just maybe not so much in a row next time)

*I totally spelled weekend with three e's the first time, and couldn't figure out why blogger was saying it was wrong. I was like 'I'm the grammar queen here people, don't tell me what's wrong!'. Then I realized and felt bad and apologized to it.

it took me a year to get here/ alone, 1am in an empty subway station/ bisexual and brokenhearted/ scraping by/
it took me a year to get here/ to a night of promise and regret and true feelings/ progression, not regression of friendship/
it took me a year to get here/ a disposable commodity/ tossed around by too many lovers to count/ too many lost friends/ thrown out and cast off/
it took me a year to get here/ to scribbled lines on a train/ a night of revolution and self-discovery/ change/


Right now we're on our knees. Promise me we're gonna stand up. We gotta stand up.

Spelling

So apparently my spelling was so bad last night on msn my friends are convinced I was drinking. Great. My spelling is usually alright, but for some reason last night, it was really bad. I think this is a major problem but one I'm willing to overlook. I'm cool like that. And lack motivation.

Aaand We're Back!

Alright kids, we're back. We hope you enjoyed all those commercials for sugary cereal and over-priced toys. Make sure you ask mommy and daddy for all the cool things you saw.
So guess who's back making blogging life hell? Yup, you guessed it; Moi!

I've decided to come back to the blogging community and post wonderful things about wonderful topics (not really, I'm lying and we all know that). I'm back in school now and hoping to use my lit studies to help the world write better. All your editing needs in one handy location!

I'll try to update as much as possible; however, it is not always easy when you're struggling to get essays done to blog, so please don't be offended if I'm not seen for a couple of days.

Alright kids, and now a word from our sponsors...